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Life as a ‘Blouse’ (a Bloggers Spouse)

My Hubby-to-be, Steve, tells what it is like to be the spouse of a blogger - a 'Blouse'. Without him, this blog would never have been possible.

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My gorgeous man, Steve, has written a Guest Post for me sharing with you what it is like to be a Blouse (a bloggers spouse). Can you see why he makes me laugh, and smile, and giggle like a school girl….

My Hubby-to-be, Steve, tells what it is like to be the spouse of a blogger - a 'Blouse'. Without him, this blog would never have been possible.

My name is Steve and I’m the partner/fiancé/man (whatever the modern term is) of the lovely woman who writes this blog. A little while ago she asked if I wouldn’t mind contributing a post on what it’s like living with a crazy, manic blogger who almost continually talks about page views, Twitter, Facebook and all those other things I have absolutely no understanding of.

At first I wasn’t sure about contributing, I like to keep a fairly low online profile. (Big Brother is watching, don’t you know) But after thinking about it a bit more I thought it might be useful to share what it’s like being with a (hardcore) blogger.

First off, let me say, I have learnt a LOT! I never realised this world of blogging was so complex, what with all the statistics, social media, and a peculiar kind of electronic cross-pollination of accounts and posts and bloggers that goes on behind the scenes.

It’s this whole world that you don’t really know exists if you’re just a casual Internet surfer like myself. But the other thing that struck me was, generally speaking, what a supportive environment it is.

If asked before, I would have thought it would be a very competitive sphere, with people trying to outdo everyone else’s blogs, trade secrets left right and centre, and industrial espionage abounding! But it’s not like that at all.

People seem to swap ideas, help each other out with coding and techniques and give really constructive, well-meant (and well taken) criticism. I know Krystal has made many new connections online, some that may even turn into actual, real-world associations, and I think that’s just amazing.

I have to admit when my gorgeous girl first floated the idea of a blog I was a bit hesitant. I thought maybe it would take time away from us, thought perhaps it would become all-consuming, was sure it would turn out to be stressful and more of a chore than an enjoyment. But so far anyway, I’m very wrong.

True, Krystal does spend more time on the Mac (and phone and PC) and a lot of our conversations now revolve around bloggy stuff. But it hasn’t affected our relationship at all, nor the dynamics of our family. I feel very included in things, being asked opinions on styling for her pages, editing of posts, and I’ve even learnt (the very basics) of DSLR photography!

Alexander too, has very much become part of proceedings. I swear, he must be the most photographed kid I’ve ever known! I feel overall this little (but growing) blog has been a positive addition to our world.

The joy, challenges and I guess personal validation and growth I can see in Krystal makes me realise how important this is for her. I’ve seen her expand in both knowledge and confidence. Just this morning she mentioned some long term goals for her work within the blogosphere which I’ve gotta admit, kinda blew me away.

To see the person you love evolve to be so passionate and confident about her abilities is truly a wonderful thing, and I mean to encourage this as much as I’m able.

I’ve come to the conclusion, and I hope I don’t sound too dramatic, that blogging is more than just a hobby or pastime, it’s pretty much a lifestyle. Or at the very least, an evolution of your existing lifestyle. There’s always ‘maintenance’ to do. When we drive to the nearest big city, Krystal is in the passenger seat with her smartphone tap-tap-tapping away.

I’ve become used to the various chirps and chimes and dongs and goodness knows what else, signalling there’s something happening somewhere in social media.

The bedroom occasionally lights up in the dead of night, with notifications or messages coming in from friends way across the other side of the world where it’s daytime for them. We watch TV with the Apple Mac close by, my girl has this incredible ability to seemingly be able to do two things at once.

Seriously, I’ve seen her type one thing at a million miles an hour while simultaneously looking at me and talking about something completely different. That’s multitasking on steroids, as far as I’m concerned! I wonder if it’s a blogger thing, or a female thing… Anyway, all this might sound terribly intrusive, but it’s actually not.

We talk about stuff Krystal is adding to her site. I’m asked opinions on photos and fonts, and I’m sure our collective vocabulary has expanded considerably. For instance, I never would have used the word ‘considerably’ before.

Perhaps the hardest part for me, and I’m sure many other ‘blogging spouses’ (or ‘blouses’) out there, is the fact that a certain portion of your life is out there for anyone to see. I guess in a way this can be a good or bad thing, and can be manipulated so that what comes across online bears little or no resemblance to what life is actually like.

But at the beginning Krystal (with my full support) made the decision to be honest about what she writes. We were worried initially as to what people who knew us might think, but soon came to the opinion it didn’t matter.

We want people to connect with us because they like us warts and all, not a photoshopped, misconstrued version of us. We decided that what you see is what you get, and I think that’s very important for the integrity of the blog. We may not post everything that happens, but what is there is honest and true.

So I guess this totally analogue guy has kinda been digitally converted. Well, a little anyway. I’m getting used to the idea there are photographs of me online, this post means there will be something I’ve written on the Net, and I still don’t understand the attraction of Facebook. But I’m okay with that, just as I’m okay with my girl being a blogger.

For us, I believe the pro’s have by far outweighed the con’s and to be honest I can’t imagine what our life would be like now without blogging. (and the frequent sound of Facebook notifications, keyboard tapping, Twitter messages, Pinterest complexities, statistical analysis, marketing talk…..)

23 Comments

  1. Love this! My fiance has been dealing with a lot of the same things since I started blogging, and all kinds of things get said in our house that sound crazy to everyone else (like that whole bloggy language of SEO, HTML, CSS, Link Ups, Blog Hops, etc)! But he’s definitely a Blouse (love the term) and will be going with me to my first blog conference in October as my +1 and even guest posted once. Can’t tell you how much of a difference it makes as a blogger to have a supportive family! We wouldn’t be able to do it without you guys!

    1. Steve thinks it’s pretty awesome that our vocabulary has increased so much. You are completely right though – it makes such a massive different to have supportive family!! I’m off to my first blogging workshop this Tuesday and theres a big one coming up in August… Steve said to me that no matter what, I have to go. We are lucky to have such amazing ‘blouses’.

  2. Steve, I think my husband has been on a similar journey since I first decided to start blogging, which is now about four years ago. He has also endured being my ‘tester’ – we have had so many conversations about how I am planning to approach a topic, and I think he has also helped me to avoid potential trouble and to be realistic about my goals.

    He is my biggest supporter and has helped me to celebrate key milestones in the development of my blog. And he had already become a keen amateur DSLR operator and I have put his skills to good use…

    I think every blogger needs ‘blouse’ and hopefully they have been enjoying the journeys as much as those of us who are the bloggers have!

    1. There is no way I would have been able to do this blogging gig without my ‘blouse’. He never complains when I have my head in my laptop (like right now) and celebrates with me when things go well. Steve definitely helps with the ‘realistic goals’ aspect – but also encourages me to push myself a little further if he thinks I’m being too conservative. I’m glad you have an amazingly supportive ‘blouse’ too 🙂

  3. So good of you to share! I am with a fellow hardcore social media person (not blogging specifically, but lots on other platforms) and we are constantly asking each other to check our stuff, talking stats, techniques and all things social media. My ex husband was not in this space at all (we divorced for other reasons!) and it was harder. So good to see you have a great relationship and support each other.

    I imagine for many it’d be hard having your life out there, I am quite open about my life and experiences and when I decided to start a relationship after my divorce, I needed that person to be on a similar wavelength to me with that. It’s certainly not for everyone.

    So good of you to be so open about it.

    1. I have tried to start up other blogs in the past but haven’t kept them going for various reasons – lack of support from those around me being one of them. This time has been completely different, but I guess I am in a different space too. It is amazing how much you can achieve when you have someone behind you, supporting you 110% of the way. xo

    1. I’ve tried so hard to convince Steve to start his own blog but, as he says in the post, he is very analogue. It was such a big deal for him to write this post, but now that he has maybe it will spur him on to write more 🙂 I can’t imagine two bloggers in one household!!!

    1. I hope your husband likes it 🙂 I am so lucky to have Steve being so supportive – because of his support, drive and belief in me I have been able to achieve things I never imagined possible!!

  4. I ask Trent all the time about hi opinion on layouts, photos and wording of posts, although I’m not sure he’s anywhere near as interested in it as me. I wonder if he thinks I’m speaking another language sometimes. I’ve really gotten a lot more “hardcore” into blogging since I had our daughter and have been on maternity leave and actually have the time to spend on it as much as I wanted to before. I know some nights he gets annoyed if I’m on the computer too much and might feel ignored but at the same time I hope he sees that this is something that makes me really happy and therefore makes allowances.

    1. I know what you mean Toni – I get a little paranoid that I’m spending too much time on the blog (I’ll just tweak this one thing…. 2 hours later still on the laptop :-/). It’s great that Trent is supportive though – whether or partners understand or not, their support is the most valuable thing to our blogs. xo

  5. I love this post! My husband is very much apart of my blog, reading every post and each comment. When we went to Problogger Conference last year ( he came to look after our baby girl) he was able to meet the bloggers who comment on my blog. He is so supportive and it’s lovely to read that your partner is the same. 🙂

    1. I’m trying to convince Steve to come to Problogger this year!! (If I’m lucky enough to grab a ticket!!). I’m glad you have a supportive hubby too! They really are worth their weight in gold. xo

  6. My husband is supportive as well and for that I am so blessed! Just like any job, it would be hard to manage without the support of your partner. What he loves about it is that he sees how much I love blogging and the wonderful creative outlet it gives me. I loved your husband’s comment about how surprised he was of the support from other bloggers. Yes, sharing each other’s posts and commenting on each other’s blogs has been such a pleasant surprise in this business! Lastly, I just love your term Blouse! Got such a kick out of that! Thanks for sharing!

    Elaine @ OMG Lifestyle Blog

  7. I’ll be sharing this with my own blouse, thanks!

    I’ve only been blogging for a few months so still very much on training wheels… Mr McD started off somewhat bemused at the whole process but has become a lot more engaged as time has gone on.

    He often suggests things I should blog about, and sends me links to other blogs he thinks I’ll like 🙂

    1. That’s fantastic that Mr McD is so supportive – especially sending you links and suggestions. What an awesome blouse!! I can’t imagine how amusing it must be for our other halves to watch us quickly become obsessed with this blogging world – it would be quite funny to sit back and watch. 🙂

  8. It’s great to see your partner supports you and your blog!!

    My hubby is the same… however, I could never get him to sit down and write a post for me lol.

    1. Steve is an amazing writer and I am always getting him to check my work because I know he is always honest with me. It was a little battle to convince him to write the post but I think he is pretty glad he has now. Especially given the amazingly positive response. I’m glad you’ve got a supportive hubby too – they can be so good to us 🙂 xo

  9. I love this! As I’ve just started my own online business a couple of months ago and am now blogging again, my boyfriend can probably relate to a lot of what Steve has written about! I’ve gotten my boyfriend to read though and edit posts for me, sign up for my newsletter to make sure it works, and goodness knows he’s seen me through the roller coaster of emotions that comes with this lifestyle.

    He’s flirting with the idea of learning web design and starting his own business, so I can only imagine what our household will be like with two of us obsessively online all the time! 😉

    1. You’re so right – there is a crazy roller coaster of emotions that comes with this lifestyle and it’s made so much easier when you have someone to ride that roller coaster with you. Good luck to your boyfriend with his business and learning web design!! At least you’ll both be able to support each other through.

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